Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby
. . . . . somebody doesn't know that once you're a mother, "normal" is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct
. . . . . somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring
. . . . . somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good"
. . . . . somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices
. . . . . somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you can't love the second child as much as you love the first
. . . . . somebody doesn't have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books
. . . . . somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery
. . . . . somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten .. or on a plane headed for military "boot camp."

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back
. . . . . somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married
. . . . . somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother's heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother's job is done when her last child leaves home
. . . . . somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don't need to tell her
. . . . . somebody isn't a mother.